“Get up Valenisia and start helping your Mum clean up the garden” yelled my grumpy Dad”, I got up sleepily.
Outside was so cold, shady and windy, but I knew that when I started digging the massive hole, so my mum can plant her flowers, I would get warmer. I started to dig the massive hole and I started to daydream because I was very bored digging the hole. I dug deeper, deeper and deeper not realising I hadn’t stopped digging the deep hole.
Shockingly I fell into the deep yellow and red hole and with a massive bump I landed on a soft, bouncy, smooth, grases and shiny floor, I wondered around and I saw Candy trees, houses with candy on the roof, candy girls and boys, candy grass, candy chairs and candy lights. I was in Candy Land
Shockingly I fell into the deep yellow and red hole and with a massive bump I landed on a soft, bouncy, smooth, grases and shiny floor, I wondered around and I saw Candy trees, houses with candy on the roof, candy girls and boys, candy grass, candy chairs and candy lights. I was in Candy Land
Next I was singing a song and suddenly I heard footsteps coming towards me and I saw a shadow of a creature.
Shockingly I saw a face, the face was purple and had one eye, two egs and feet a big smile on her face and massive ears. After I saw the alien and he announced himself “Hi name is Holly Bolly, what’s your name?” and I whispered “Valenisia”. He whispered back “what are you doing here?”. I answered back “I fell down while I was digging a massive hole”. Suddenly Holly Bolly put out his hands and in his hands was a box and he whispered “I want you to take this to your world because I have no where to keep it safe. You need to keep it safe in your world.” I took the box out of his hand in out of his hands and put it in my pocket.
I sat down and closed my eyes and when I opened my eyes I was at the backyard still digging the hole that my mum wanted. Suddenly I stopped digging and looked around to see a red key beside the box Holly Bolly had given to me. The box was for saving the world that Holly Bolly lived in and also his friends and his family. I heard my Mum was yelling out “come inside and have a rest.” Finally I went to my bedroom and hide the golden key under my comfortable pillow, and laid down on my bed and I fell asleep
Shockingly I saw a face, the face was purple and had one eye, two egs and feet a big smile on her face and massive ears. After I saw the alien and he announced himself “Hi name is Holly Bolly, what’s your name?” and I whispered “Valenisia”. He whispered back “what are you doing here?”. I answered back “I fell down while I was digging a massive hole”. Suddenly Holly Bolly put out his hands and in his hands was a box and he whispered “I want you to take this to your world because I have no where to keep it safe. You need to keep it safe in your world.” I took the box out of his hand in out of his hands and put it in my pocket.
I sat down and closed my eyes and when I opened my eyes I was at the backyard still digging the hole that my mum wanted. Suddenly I stopped digging and looked around to see a red key beside the box Holly Bolly had given to me. The box was for saving the world that Holly Bolly lived in and also his friends and his family. I heard my Mum was yelling out “come inside and have a rest.” Finally I went to my bedroom and hide the golden key under my comfortable pillow, and laid down on my bed and I fell asleep
1 comment:
Well done Valensia, you have shown a good understanding of the structure of a narrative. Keep up the great writing.
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